This week I will celebrate my 9th year of marriage! It’s hard to believe it’s been that long already and it’s even harder to believe we’ve not killed one another yet.You see we made an agreement years ago that we were in this thing until death do we part.
Now in that agreement there are some serious ramifications. You see it’s either until death do we part natural causes or by murder… He likes to tell people we don’t talk about divorce but we’ve discussed murder twice… ( So seriously we aren’t going to kill each other but it is a great illustration that we use to show our commitment to making this thing called marriage work).
So being a married woman, a mom, and a facebooker, a blogger, a church goer, sister, friend, daughter, ect… I can say that I am given a lot of opportunities to talk to other women and men at times that are struggling to keep it together. Life is tough sometimes and things get hectic more often than they are calm, especially when we add kids to the mix.
The image I am about to paint can be applied to any commitment you make. Whether it’s to your kids, a family member, a friend, a job, or a dream the same principle should and can apply and help you to keep a “long haul” perspective.
In today’s fast food, throw away society, relationships are disposable. People are disposable. Dreams are disposable. Even spouses and kids are disposable, or at least they have taken on the appearance as such. The problem with that mentality is we will never be satisfied with something we know we can replace.
This is why we have to decide our mindset. We have to decide that we are in it for the long haul. Now if you know anything about truck driving and long hauls let this begin to speak to you. Long hauls for truck drivers can often mean driving from one shore to the other, spending days of long hours going from point a to point b and then over to point c, and back to point a again.
How does this relate? Think about it. If you are in it for the long haul what are some things that could happen? A radiator low on water. A cracked windshield. Maybe you’ll need an oil change or two. Gotta stop and put gas in it. What about a flat tire. Better yet a blow out. You may have to stop by a mechanic shop or even call a tow truck. You are going to have to drive through bad weather, road work, speed zones, and detours. You are going to hit potholes, speed bumps, traffic lights, and you may even get a ticket if you’re not careful. You may have to take an alternate route. But if you are in it for the long haul you do what you have to do and you keep on moving forward. You never stop going the course until your goal is reached.
This is how marriage has to work for it to work. You see it’s not going to be perfect, smooth sailing, 100% of the time. Quite frankly there may be a season now and again where it’s not perfect 10% of the time. But if you’re in it for the long haul you know something for sure at the end of the day you’re going to keep moving forward. You’re going to do the work, fix the tire, add the water, see the mechanic, pay the ticket and keep on moving forward.
With this mentality, the divorce isn’t an option mentality, and the long haul thought process, I believe what seems to be a hopeless situation can gain a new perspective. There’s one other thing, and it’s the most important one if you’re asking me. We don’t wait until the engine blow to change the oil in our car. We don’t wait until we have pneumonia to go to the doctor for a cough. Your marriage requires regualar maintenance. Don’t wait until it’s falling apart and broke down to service it. The number one key to a healthy marriage is have a common denominator of God in your equation. You see the Word is our Manual to the life, just like we get a manual with our car. It tells us exactly how to deal with every aspect of our day to day, including our relationships.
Though one my be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A chord of three strands is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12